Asking A Girl Out

Note: This is page 2 of this guide on asking a girl out. For page 1 go to: How to Ask a Girl Out.

In part one we covered what NOT to do when asking a girl out. Now let’s explore some important beliefs, behaviors and approaches to take your success with women to the next level when asking her out:

4) HAVE A STRONGER ‘REALITY’

There’s a book called “Influence” by Robert Cialdini. And in it he talks about psychological triggers that we have hardwired into us as humans. One of the principles he talks about is ‘Authority’ and he says that if you do anything with enough authority you can get away with it.

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So how can we use this when asking a girl out?

Simple. Just make sure your belieft in her going out with you is stronger than hers. You want to imagine that she is a ‘guest’ in your reality, and you can behave as confidently as you wish. So truly believe that she’s already said ‘Yes’ when you’re talking with her. Act like she’ll definitely say ‘yes’, and you’ll increase the likelihood that she actually will.

5) KEEP YOUR BODY LANGUAGE RELAXED

When asking a girl out, you really want to pay attention to your body language and the way that you’re communicating. Scientific studies suggest that as much as 93% of our communication happens through our body language and voice tone. Meaning that the words we use only account for about 7% of that communication.

Knowing this, it’s important you maintain a relaxed, un-needy and chilled out body posture when asking a girl out. You do not want to act like your happiness depends on her saying ‘yes’.

6) IMAGINE YOU’RE TALKING TO AN OLD FRIEND

One of the best ways of asking a girl out is to act really familiar with her, and treat her the same way you’d treat an “old friend”. It communicates powerfully that you’re comfortable in your own skin, and you don’t get too nervous or freaked out when talking to girls you find attractive.

Women want to know you’re being genuine and ‘real’ with them. So this little mindset shift is a powerful and effective way to achieve this.

So how do good friends behave? Well, tease her and assume you have a deep and lasting rapport right from the start. Be relaxed and don’t just say things to please or ‘impress’ her.

7) TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME

When asking a girl out, far too many guys try to achieve too much all at once. And it’s totally unnecessarily and likely to fail.

What do I mean by this?

Well, when a guy asks a girl out to dinner, there’s so much buried into that request. One, it implies he feels the need to buy her attention by buying her dinner. Two, it immediately suggests he sees her as a potential future girlfriend. It’s trying to achieve too much in one go.

It's far better to have her join you when you go shopping, complete errands, head to a party, or simply meet up for a coffee. It takes the pressure off, and allows the pair of you to relax and enjoy yourselves (instead of thinking about entering into a full-blown relationship too soon).

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